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How things can change in the course of one day!

What is happening to my body?  My right leg is swollen, even after a night’s rest.  I got up this morning feeling it “jiggle” from the fluid in it.  And I’m afraid.

But my main thought is about my ability to trust you.  Can I trust you in spite of what may happen to my body?  Can I continue to see you as my beloved, or will I only look to you for what you can do for me?  Like produce healing within me?

The body can be such a distraction to love.  It draws all the attention to itself.

I need you here with me, My love.  I need your calm assurances, your compassionate touch as I go through whatever lies ahead of me.  Wrap your arms around me, bringing love’s healing to me, to my soul.

I still must face this new development, and make decisions, and for that I need your guidance and counsel.  What should I do; who should I see?  How quickly must I give it attention?  I feel fine in every other way; if not fine, at least not unusually different.  It’s just this right leg that began swelling last night.  Is it caused by the torn cartilage in my knee, or a symptom of something new?  Is it something minor, or the beginning of a serious health issue?  Please give me counsel.

I know I can really only see life from my own perspective.  It is almost impossible to take another’s perspective and see life from that angle.  I know what I know and feel what I feel, and cannot “suspend belief” in order to see life through another’s eyes.

           

So, what an impossible prayer!  To ask to see my life from God’s viewpoint.  I can’t even begin to comprehend what he alone knows about my life from beginning to end.  (I could only see what has already taken place, while he sees all the way to the end.)  How foolish to even assume that I could understand it.

           

Rather than attempting to “get inside God’s head,” seeing my life from his perspective, and hoping to understand my life situation as a result, there is a better alternative.

           

Look to him as a baby looks to its mother, in simple trust.

August 2017
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